23 Month Update

Dear Lana,

You turned 23 months old a couple of days ago. That means you are now just a month shy of two years, the age at which the American Academy of Pediatrics says it is okay for kids to begin watching some television. After reading several alarming reports and a book on the effects of television on young minds, I came to agree with that recommendation and took pains to limit your TV consumption in our house. Fortunately for me, you showed almost no interest in television for the first 22 months of your life. Then you saw a few minutes of Shrek and life as we know it came to an end.

For the last month, the first words out of your mouth every morning were, "Wanna see Shrek!" You would sit on the couch watching the movie and drinking your morning cup of milk like a little Shrek zombie, snapping out of your trance only long enough to inquire, "Where Shrek?" whenever he wandered off screen. Before I knew it we were watching Shrek in the mornings before breakfast, right before nap time, and in the evening before bed time. I began to wake up with the music from Shrek lodged in my head and found I could recite every line from the movie. I tried introducing some new children's movies like my personal favorite, Annie. Poor Little Orphan Annie barely finished her first song before you were demanding more Shrek. Your Grandma Omo was kind enough to purchase Finding Nemo, so I talked you into watching a few minutes of that. I started to think you were actually interested when you looked at me and asked, "Where Nemo's Daddy?" I pointed him out and you replied, "Ok. I WANNA WATCH SHREK!!!"

When you weren't busy watching Shrek and inquiring into the whereabouts of Donkey, Fiona, and Dragon, you occupied yourself by asking about everyone else you could think of: "Where my Daddy? Where my Granny? Where my Rico? Where Preston? Where Andra?" Your teacher told me that you would often stop what you were doing on days at school and ask, "Where John Mayes?" or "Where my JMo?" I guess at some point during the month you decided that mommy was a baby term and you began almost exclusively calling me JMo. I think it perplexes your teachers, but I actually find it quite endearing.

Speaking of endearing, you learned the fine art of complimenting and used it to great effect in the past month. When your father would return home from work and scoop you up into his arms, you'd look him over and say something like, "I like your shirt." When I modeled my new bathing suit you said, without any encouragement, "JMo cute." You also learned that meeting new people is a lot easier when you have something nice to say, like the little girl you were introduced to at the pool named Bernadette. She was hanging out with Samantha, an older girl from the neighborhood who loves children. When Sam left the pool for a second there was a bit of an awkward silence as you and Bernadette eyed each other, and then you walked over to her and said, "Hi! I like your hair." Bernadette smiled and I nearly overdosed on the cuteness of the moment.

Apparently, your cuteness has earned you some extra attention at school as well. For a couple of days after school you reported that, "CJ knock me down" and you'd occasionally blurt out, "Go away CJ!" I talked to your teachers and found out that CJ is a boy in the other middle 2K class that you run into on the playground. He developed a crush on you almost immediately and began chasing your around the playground attempting to give you hugs. Unfortunately, CJ is the Paul Bunyan of two-year-olds and his attempts at affection left you on the ground or scrambling into the arms of one of the teachers.

Less abrasive but just as interested is Kaleb, a boy in your class who has recently taken to handing me your backpack and lunchbox when I arrive to pick you up. He occasionally grabs his own bags in hopes that we'll bring him home with us, and once he even chased you out the door yelling, "Kiss, kiss, kiss!" You stopped and allowed him to plant a quick kiss on your cheek before scampering out the door and away from your boy troubles for a couple of days.

I figured that boys would be a problem for us at some point, but I am surprised to be worrying about them even before your second birthday. Come to think of it, almost everything about how fast you are growing surprises me. One evening this past month you were playing with your car, climbing in and out with a purse slung over your shoulder. You bid farewell to your father, so he joined in the game and asked, "Are you going to work?" You looked at him in amazement and said, "I'm going to school." Then you actually rolled your eyes, shook your head, and muttered, "Work!" to yourself before driving off to tell all your friends about your clueless dad.

It is an absolute joy to watch you grow, my sweet Lana Kathleen, but please try to take your time. And remember, boys are ICKY.

Love,

JMo

Going Green

We’ve been preoccupied with Green around here lately, but I’m sorry to say it’s not the environmentally-friendly kind of Green that’s happening around here. Nope, our Green has much more to do with Lana’s current obsession with Shrek (more on that in the next monthly update) and her study of the color in school for the past couple weeks. On Thursday, they celebrated the completion of their color study with a Green-themed party hosted by Preston’s mom, Suzi. The festivities included some lovely green favors and green cupcakes. I found a few remnants of green frosting on Lana’s face and under her nails that afternoon, but after the bath that evening I assumed the green party was behind us. Silly mommy.

As I finished up Lana’s bath the next night, she grabbed her washcloth and began wiping down the tub while the water drained out. The dear child is fond of “Clean Up Time!” and rarely turns down an opportunity to wipe down surfaces in the bathroom, kitchen, or classroom. Naturally, this is an interest I encourage, so I left her engrossed in her cleaning and turned around to wash a particularly ripe lovey in the bathroom sink. A minute or two went by before Lana requested by attention.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Lana?”

“I made dook.”

“What? (I turn around to spy a large green poop lying in the middle of the tub, with Lana backed away and pointing at it.) Oh my Lord!”

Lana immediately began chanting, “Oh my Lord, oh my loooaarrd, loarrrd. I made dook in tub!” She then collected herself and a very serious look came over her face when she said, “Mommy, we have to wipe it.”

Two years ago the sight of a green turd in my bathtub would have absolutely horrified me. Now, it cracks me up and sends me running for a witness (lucky John) and my video camera. I realize that not everyone enjoys a green poop as much as me, so I won’t share the video with actual poop footage. I’m saving that for Lana’s first serious boyfriend, anyway. Instead, check out the interview with Lana shortly after the incident.

22 Month Update

Dear Lana,

Yesterday you turned 22 months old. I won’t lie to you – the past month was a tough one. I knew it would be tough and I dreaded it for some time because this, my dear, was the month that you began nursery school. I did everything I could to make this an easy transition for you. I enrolled you several months ago in a Mommy and Me toddler class to get you used to interacting with other children. I found an excellent school affiliated with a local church that I knew would provide a safe, loving, and educational atmosphere. I enrolled you in the two-day a week program to give you time to adjust and continue to enjoy days spent with your beloved Granny. I setup play dates with our neighbor and your new classmate, Preston, to ensure you had a familiar face in class.

I’d like to think that all of those things helped, but in the end we both found ourselves crying our eyes out on the first day of school. I held it together while you lunged and cried for me from your new teacher’s arms and made it all the way home before I collapsed on the floor in tears. I sat in my office with my stomach in knots and counted the hours until I could pick you up. I watched in amazement as you sat calmly eating Cheerios when I arrived that afternoon, but just as soon as you saw me you dissolved into tears again.

What surprised me the most about that first week was how your insecurity and fear didn’t end when you left school, how it crept into our once comfortable routines of dinner time, bed time, and days at home with Granny. You were clingy, grumpy, short-tempered, and absolutely petrified of returning to school. You realized something was up as I dressed you for the next day of school and out of desperation tried to redirect me by shouting, “Store! Store? Wanna go store!” The redirection became even more literal on the third day of school, when you turned around in your car seat as we approached the building and began pointing in the opposite direction yelling, “NO!!! DIS WAY!!!”

And so it went for almost two weeks. You did, however, show signs of improvement with each new day until, on the fifth day, I knew you were finally settled in when I received a report that you ate your lunch, took a nap, and unclenched long enough to take a poop away from home. Never before has a poop meant so much to me. I wish now that I could go back to the early part of the month and give us both a huge hug, wipe away our tears, and let us know that things would work out just fine. That in a few weeks time you would be all smiles while talking about school, professing your love for Ms. Jessie and Ms. Connie, and providing detailed reports on your classmates (“Kaleb cries, Chad trouble, Ethan’s daddy cute”).

Your adjustment to the school routine made life at home much easier and often times, more interesting. You began to mimic the routines of school days and started applying the “time” label to every part of the day. Breakfast became “Cheer-O Time!” and diaper changes were, appropriately enough, “Change Time!” We engaged in “Clean up Time!” throughout the day – I recall one day in particular when you chanted, “Ms. Jessie says clean up!” over and over until I wished Ms. Jessie would also institute quiet time. The one special “time”, however, that I enjoyed the most was without a doubt “Daddy Time!” Each evening when your father would return home from work, you would literally drop whatever you were doing and run to the door squealing, “DADDY TIME!!” and clapping your little hands. This was such a nice change of pace from your previous grumplepuss greeting of, “Go away, Daddy!” earlier in the month and also an approach that’s much more likely to get you that little sports car when you turn 16.

Your manners, like your attitude, also showed a significant improvement toward the end of the month. You began consistently using words like “Please”, “Thank You”, “Bless You”, and even an occasional “Yes, Maam.” One day I fed you a piece of sliced cheese and you sweetly offered up a “Thank you, Mommy , JMo” after every single bite. You also started to talk more about your feelings, as in “The moon scared – don’t like it” and “I love this shirt – cute."

Perhaps my favorite moment of the entire month came on a Saturday when I had praised you repeatedly for your impeccable manners and your remarkably improved coordination. After climbing the stairs up to my office in record time you paused at the top, turned to look at me, threw your hands up over your head Rocky Balboa style and declared, “I am SO big!”

Indeed you are, my amazing big girl.

Love,
Mommy, JMo

Toddler Speak

A list of funny things Lana said in the past week:

1. To her father, after he said good night to her:
   
   “Good night, girlfriend!”



2. To her Pop, after he passed her another french fry at dinner:
   
   “Good boy!”



3. To the My Little People Busy Town lift the flap book she was reading on the couch:
   
   “People, and bicycles, and boats, and doggy, and good buddies, and butterflies…”
   
   [Good buddies are what she has decided to call squirrels, it turns out.]



4. To the bin of diapers, which now includes Princess-themed Easy Ups and Dora Pull Ups:
   
   “Fun ladies, fun ladies, and dis… dis here panties.”



5. To me, after I asked how the newly-bathed Rico smelled:
   
   “Yummy!”



6. To the tissue I threw away after wiping her nose:
   
   "Bye, bye, booger!"

21 Month Updade

Dear Lana,

For 21 months now I have sat down in front of my computer on or around the 29th of the month to recap your most recent exploits. And each month when I think back on the things you have done or said, I feel so totally enamored with you that I can’t help but recall a passing comment from a neighbor shortly after your birth. As she watched me stroll my colicky baby (that was you) around and around our cul-de-sac, she looked at her own four year old son playing in the yard and told me she enjoyed him the most between the ages of six and 14 months. Her comment both disturbed and intrigued me. Most of all, it made me wonder if I would ever look back and identify a time span that I enjoyed you most. As it turns out, the answer is yes. Every month that we spend together is my favorite time with you. Every month I grow to love you more and every month you grow cuter, sweeter, and funnier. My only concern is that you cannot possibly keep this up. You will have to either stop increasing in cuteness at some point or run the risk of being squeezed to death by your adoring Mommy.

What makes you so ridiculously cute, you ask? Well let’s start with your talking, because there has been plenty of that in the past month. You’ve maintained a running dialogue of the events around you and become particularly adept at identifying all the people in your world. You speak at great length about your Granny and Pop, your Omo, Opop and Uncle Kyle, as well as your friends Gracie, Michael, Layla, Andra, and Preston. You pretend to talk to them on the phone and instruct your father and me to sing marathon rounds of "Happy Birthday” to each one in turn. My favorite part of your interest in names, however, is your tendency to call your father “John Mayes” and me “Jiffer” or “JMo” (your father’s nickname for me). You do it most often when you want to get my attention, like last Saturday when we were shopping at a Carter’s store and you were determined to show me something. “Mommy come!” you requested. “Just a minute, Lana,” I replied. “Mommy, COME!” you repeated, and then abrupty began howling, “JMo, JMo, JAAAYYY MOWWWW!” That turned a few heads, even in a store filled with moms who are used to hearing odd things from the mouths of toddlers.

You’ve also learned how to better communicate what you want, like “wanna eat”, “want popsicle”, “want nap”, and “want lick [insert name of any animal here]”. Your most frequent request as of late, however, is “Mommy hold you.” This is my cue to pick you up and comfort you whenever you are scared, hurt, or just unsure. You remain shy and want to be held when introduced to new people or situations, but you absolutely love to observe the people we encounter. This is most evident when we’re out to dinner and our fellow diners inevitably begin to wave and smile at you. You often smile shyly and occasionally even wave back, but if anyone dares approach you latch on to me like you’re anticipating a kidnapping attempt. Still, you “WANNA SEE PEOPLE!” and especially “WANNA SEE BABIES!” whenever we’re out and about.

Speaking of babies, let’s talk about your baby dolls. You've been playing with a couple of my old baby dolls since around your first birthday and you’ve acquired a few new ones since then. During one shopping outing at Babies R Us, you grabbed hold of a soft little doll with brown piggy tails and barely let go long enough for the cashier to ring her up. As we returned home you pointed to the house across the street and began chanting our neighbor’s name, “Sally, Sally, Sally” while hugging your baby tight. The doll’s been known as Sally ever since and her christening marked the beginning of assigning names to all the dolls in your collection. Some are purely functional, like “Heavy Baby” or “Bald Baby”. Others are named in honor of new friends, like “Preston”, the doll acquired shortly after your introduction to a cute little blonde boy down the street. The dolls have offered you a great deal of comfort in the past month, whether it’s sleeping with you in your crib or wearing band-aids to make you feel better about your own boo boos. You, in turn, have been taking much better care of them – only rarely pitching them across the room in a fit of rage. And that, my dear, is just good parenting.


Thanks for making month #21 my very favorite month with you. I’m sure it will hold that special honor for at least three more weeks.

Love,
Mommy

Oh, Dear...

We took Lana to the Georgia Aquarium for the first time today. She enjoyed seeing all the fish, the REALLY BIG fish, and particularly liked standing against the glass of the sea lion tank while the animals rushed toward her. She saw whales, sharks, alligators, otters, penguins, turtles, and every type of fish imaginable. And yet, when I asked her on the way home about her favorite part of the aquarium trip, she thought for a moment and then broke out in a grin and said, "BOYS!"



View more aquarium photos

Street (driveway) Performer

Look out, American Idol Season 21.